2004 GHOUL POOL

Entrant # 1

  1. Lady Bird Johnson
  2. John Kenneth Galbraith
  3. Sonny Von Bulow
  4. Max Schmeling
  5. Mitch Miller
  6. Lucia dos Santos (witness of Miracle of Fatima)
  7. Pervez Musharraf, walking around with target on his back.
  8. James A. Baker III
  9. Robert McNamara
  10. Jack LaLanne

Under 30: 50Cent

Entrant # 2

  1. Billy Graham
  2. Pres. Mushariff of Pakistan
  3. Louise Rainer
  4. the actress who plays Alice Horton on Days of Our
    Lives
  5. Mickey Rooney
  6. Jane Powell
  7. June Lockhart
  8. James Whitmore
  9. Johnny Carson
  10. The Pope

Under 30: Mary Kate Olsen

Entrant # 3

  1. Marlon Brando
  2. Robert Byrd
  3. Fay Wray
  4. Norman Mailer
  5. Rosa Parks
  6. Kirk Douglas
  7. Gloria Stuart
  8. Chuck Berry
  9. Jim Brady
  10. Rosemary Kennedy

Under 30: Edward Furlong

Entrant # 4

  1. Dick Clark
  2. Robert Goulet
  3. Courtney Love
  4. Michael Jackson
  5. Christopher Reeve
  6. Tommy LaSorda
  7. John Madden
  8. Ted Koppel
  9. Chuck Norris
  10. Arnold Schwartzenegger

Under 30: 50Cent

 

Entrant # 5

  1. George Bush Sr.
  2. George Bush Jr.
  3. Dick Cheney
  4. Donald Rumsfeld
  5. John Ashcroft
  6. Ronald Reagan
  7. Saddam Huessein
  8. Ariel Sharron
  9. Benjamin Netinyahou
  10. Yassir Arafat

The "Dude, you're gettin' a Dell" dude is my River Phoenix nominee.

 

 

Entrant # 6

  1. Yassir Arafat -- not once in 75 years has he volunteered to be a "suicide" bomber himself
  2. Ray Bradbury-- if he's cremated it'll be Fahrenheit 451 for him soon enough
  3. Osama Bin Ladin-- the world may not know when this occurs because Osama's Bin Hidin
  4. Billy Graham-- soon he'll be preaching to the choir
  5. Pope John Paul II-- some believe he died last year but no one has yet detected it
  6. Lady Bird Johnson-- from a long lost era when parents named their daughters ... "Lady Bird"
  7. B B King-- his guitar and insulin strips will go to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame
  8. Rosa Parks-- wouldn't it be terrible if she was run over by a bus?
  9. Max Schmeling-- the referee's count is currently at 9.9999999999
  10. Fay Wray -- it was old age killed the beauty

Under 30: Jack White (of White Stripes)-- I'm jealous because he's dating Renee Zellweger

Entrant # 7

  1. Robert Altman
  2. Ernest Borgnine
  3. Betty Ford
  4. Saul Bellow
  5. Cardinal Law
  6. Russ Meyer
  7. Ray Bradbury
  8. Fred Pohl
  9. Helen Thomas
  10. Arthur Miller

Under 30: Christina Aguilera

Entrant # 8

  1. Leonard Nimoy
  2. William Shatner
  3. Roger Moore
  4. Carol Channing
  5. Bill Buetell
  6. Phyllis Diller
  7. Dick Cheney
  8. Carol Burnett
  9. Itzak Perleman
  10. Bob Barker

Under 30: The black kid on "Lizzie McGuire"

Entrant # 9

  1. Julia Child —full of butter
  2. Mickey Rooney—rolly polly
  3. Ronald Reagan —technicality
  4. Patsy Ramsey—lying bitch
  5. Walter Cronkite—sweet Walter
  6. George Wendt—way way way too fat now
  7. Sid Ceasar—sad but true
  8. Hugh Hefner—oh please, and none too soon
  9. Richard Pryor—haven’t seen him lately
  10. Estee Lauder— ;preserved

Under 30: Mckauley Caulkin-no explanation necessary

Entrant # 10

  1. Joan Fontaine
  2. Kirk Douglas
  3. Ronald Reagan
  4. Darren McGavin
  5. Eddie Albert
  6. Ray Bradbury
  7. Pope John Paul II
  8. Gerald Ford
  9. Charlotte Benkner (world's oldest woman)
  10. Spalding Gray

Under 30: Jack Osborne

Entrant # 11

  1. Pope JPII: James Bond's favorite bartender will shake, not stir,
    his last Martini this year.
  2. Ronald Reagan: He will die, but will forget to stop breathing.
  3. "Grampa" Al Lewis: Even though he may be one of the un-dead.
  4. Billy Graham: Looks like Jeebus is calling all his people home for
    the big one.
  5. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross : ACCEPT, ALREADY!!!
  6. Stephen Hawking: Time's historian's brief time will end.
  7. Max Schmelling: I got nothing.
  8. Augusto Pinochet: Despite having a sweet soul filled with tenderness and compassion toward all those lives he touched, one of the good ones dies much too soon.
  9. Larry Hagman: JR's done in.
  10. Billy Preston: Billy go round in circles...

under 30: Justin Timberlake: just wishful thinking