GHOUL POOL 2008
Ghoul Pool 2007
Names in bold face
are on multiple lists. For easy reference, the entrant numbers of those lists
will be found after the name (in parenthesis, and in a purple font).
Names of the * cough *
deceased will appear in a bold red font.
Contact: j_grim_shaw_55@yahoo.com
Ghoul
Pool 2007 Final Standings
Entrant 1
THE USHER OF THE CRYPT
21 points
1. Dr. Michael De Bakey. He by-passed a lot, but couldn't by-pass the
grave. (1, 10) (10.5 points)
2. Carl Kassell. Wait, Wait, DO tell me as soon as this marble-mouthed
talking head hits the silk.
3. Olivia de Havilland. By the end of '08, she'll be Gone with the Wind.
4. Earl Butz.
This is the year Nixon's Secretary of Agriculture gets planted. (1, 10) (10.5 points)
5. Miep
Gies. Hid Anne Frank from the Nazis
for a long time, but
can't hide herself from the Grim Reaper any longer. (1, 10)
6. Art Linkletter. One of the darndest things kids are going to
say this year is "Art Linkletter finally died."
7. Rep. Arthur Glenn Andrews. (Died but didn’t make
the AP wire.)
8. Billy Werber. When he takes his dirt nap, teammate Babe
Ruth will welcome him to that big Diamond in the sky.
9. Sen Claiborne Pell. Can't be GRANTED any more
years.
10. Ace Parker. Football Hall of Fame QB
who is about to get sacked for the last time.
River
Jack Osbourne. Keep on rock climbin' -- maybe you'll make a big hit (read
"splat") this year, dummy.
Entrant 2
JUDGE CRATER
42 points
1. Composer Elliott Carter Jr. -- won
Pulitizer for music in 1833.
2.
3. Sonny von Bulow -- I ain't giving up on you, hon. (21 points)
4. Somali President Abdullahi Yusuf
Ahmed -- either really sick or not.
5. Patiricia Dunn -- former HP CEO, either
really sick or that's just what she told the judge.
6. Nelson Mandela
7. Colm Feore -- actor gets casting call
from God
8. Mayor of Munchkinville Meinhardt Raab
9. David Rockefeller -- 86 Rock
10. Harold Pinter (21 points)
River
Starchild Abraham Cherrix,
Entrant 3
MRS. ESTES KEFAUVER
63 points
1. John
Wooden - Winningest College Coach - Ya can't win 'em all (3, 10, 15)
2. Mark Felt - 6 Feet Deep Throat (21 points)
3. Mitch Miller - Wilted Rose of
4. Jack Kevorkian - Death with dignity, or not.
(3, 18)
5. Sherwood Schwartz - No longer "Here
on Gilligan's Isle"
6. Van Johnson - Go home to Bonnie Jean -
"Brigadoon" (21 points)
7. Eli Wallach - starred in "
8. Vintner Robert Mondavi - Probably aging
well, but still (21
points)
9. Andrew Wyeth - Bye bye Helga
10. Willard Wirtz - Sec. of Labor 1962-69
River
Newborn baby of Jamie Lynne Spears -- poor
little thing never had a chance.
Entrant 4
THE MOMINATOR
1. the late Bob Barker .......... bye bye (4, 21)
2. the late Hugh
Hefner .......... hell hell hello
3. the late
Suzanne Somers .......... sayonara, shill
4. the late Jesse
Jackson .......... joins Jerry?
5. the late Babs
Bush .......... now 60 years too late, burn baby burn
To Lessen Green-House "Gas" &
Ozone Damage We Bid Adieu To:
6. Ann Coulter .......... achieves personal
"perfection" & spares humanity her
inane,
insane neighing
7. Pat Roberson .......... a major, moral
victory when HE's gone
8. Larry King .......... very, very late
And -- Rolling Heads of State:
9. Kim Jon Il .......... came up
--------------- short
10. Vlad Putin .......... by
------------------- popular demand
River
Jenna Bush ..........
Jen's Story: A Journey of Privilege,
Pretense. And that's all she wrote ...
Entrant 5
THE ROASTER
42 points
1. Fidel
Castro (depending on your definition of “alive,” he’s probably been dead
for 6 months, but just try and prove it!) (5, 12,16, 21)
2. Dick
Clark (the ball will finally drop for good)
(5, 16, 18)
3. Estelle Getty (farewell, golden
girl) (21
points)
4. Michael Jackson (fatal facial
cave-in)
5. Rev. Fred Phelps (hey, a girl can
dream, can’t she?)
6. Sidney Pollack (misty water colored
memories…) (21
points)
7. Mickey Rooney (most memorable for that horrifying spectacle in
Breakfast at Tiffany’s) (5, 21)
8. Sen. Robert Byrd (one more KKK member gone to hell in a hand basket) (5, 8)
9. Pres. Pervez Musharrif (payback’s a
bitch)
10. Carol Channing (Goodbye, Dolly)
River
Amy
Winehouse (didn’t go to rehab, no, no, no) (5,
10, 11, 17, 18)
Entrant 6
“Entrant 16”
21 Points
1. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (21 points)
2. Doris Lessing
3. PD James
4. Nadine Gordimer
5.
6. Louis
Auchincloss (6, 7)
7. Russell Baker
8. Helen Thomas
9.
10. Gore Vidal
Under 30
Entrant7
Borg9
21 Points
1. Jules Dassin (21 points)
2. Maximilian Schell
3. Robert Morgenthau
4. Hutton Gibson
5. Eunice Kennedy
6. Louis
Auchincloss (6, 7)
7. Kevin McCarthy
8. Richard Attenborough
9. Movita
10. IM Pei
UNDER 30:
Blake Fielder-Civil
Entrant 8
Red Santa Poop
1. Gloria
Stuart (8, 10)
2. Karl Malden
3. Yitzhak Shamir
4. Joan Fontaine
5. Charlotte Bloomberg
6. Jack Klugman
7. Bob Feller
8. William B. Saxbe
9. Sargent Shriver
10. Hugh Carey
Under 30:
Mischa Barton, destined to meet the same
fate as Marissa Cooper
Entrant 9
MY BROTHER'S REAPER
1. Jon Bauman - aka"Bowzer"-
ShaNaNa no more
2. Monte Hall - chose the wrong door for
sure this time
3. The DONALD - protruding lips, 'hot comb'
and/or wig got out-trumped
4. Dr.Joyce Brothers - used up her $64K
5. Dame Judi Dench - her time 'went by'
6. Rachel Zoë - maybe she can doll-up the
reaper
7. Jean Harris - her time to reunite with
the diet doctor
8. Greg Page - the yellow shirted wiggler
can't wiggle out of this
9. Dick
Van Dyke and (9,
17)
10. Mary
Tyler Moore - they were a 'couple' and now can go out as a
couple.
Chitty-chitty-bang-bang!!! And one facelift too many. (9, 19)
Under 30:
Frank Agnello-son of Victoria Gotti
Entrant 10
The Fellowship of Fatality
31.5 points
1. Gloria
Stuart (8, 10)
2. Albert Rosellini
3. John
Wooden (3, 10, 15)
4. Albert Hofmann (10.5 points) (10, 19)
5. Oscar Niemeyer
6. Claude
Levi-Strauss (10, 12, 18)
7. Miep
Gies (1, 10)
8. Jacques Barzun
9. Michael DeBakey (10.5 points) (1, 10)
10. Earl Butz (10.5 points) (1, 10)
RIVER
Amy
Winehouse (5, 10, 11, 17, 18)
Entrant 11
TRIPLE D
1. Boy George
- because
2. Peter Graves - just because he really
ought to
3. Roman Polanski - does he think he will
finally get all those virgins in the here after? And does he think he will be
able to re-enter the
4. Dan Gottlieb - no more
"Voices"
5. Dr. Robert Jarvik - that
'll teach him not to copy someone else's invention and claim it for his
own
6.theRev.AlSharpton-his
'soul bro' JamesBrown doesn't like to be kept waiting, so croak soon, real soon
7. Ed Koch - still gonna ask
St.Pete:"How my do'n?"
8. Bill Parcells - the BIG TUNA gets
harpooned - even with his new job
9. Bill Cosby - he still needs to
10.O.J.Simpson -
perhaps this time he will get his " due" in jail. And,
yes, he REALLY needs to croak
Under 30
Amy
Winehouse - ALL her tours will be permanently cancelled (5, 10, 11, 17, 18)
Entrant 12
SHOCKandAWE
1. Ryan O’Neal
2. Zsa Zsa Gabor
3. Fidel
Castro (5, 12, 16, 21)
4. Annette Funicello
5. Claude
Levi Strauss (10, 12, 18)
6. Abigail Van Buren
7. Farrah
Fawcett (12,16)
8. Oral Roberts
9. Soupy Sales
10. Paul Harvey
Under 30
Hillary
Duff (10, 21)
Entrant 13
Juggernauto
52.5 points
1. John Paul Stevens..
Finally The Last Idiotic Decision
2. Barbara Hale. Perry needs me!!!
3. Toni Morrison. PleasePleasePlease
4. Robert
Byrd. Still can't believe he choked on a PORK BONE (5,
8, 13)
5.
6. Eddie Arnold Make
The World Go Away? (10.5 points) (13, 21)
7. Jim McKay. The agony of death.
(21 points)
8. Daniel Schorr. It's a conspiracy; I Think..!!!
9. Sammy Baugh. Gone out for a long
one. (21
points)
10. Maya Angelou. I Know Why The Fat Lady Sings
Under 30
David Banda. I should have stayed home,
chasing lions!!!!!
Entrant 14
The Old War Whores
1. George Bush (Sr.)
2. George W. Bush
3. Dick Cheney
4. Donald Rumsfeld
5. John Ashcroft
6. Alberto Gonzales
7. Karl Rove
8. Ariel
9. Benjamin Netinyahu
10. Walden O'Dell
Under Thirty
Entrant 15
JEEPER CREEPER
1. John
Wooden (A
"Woody" can't last forever, can it?) (3,
10, 15)
2. Henry
Kissinger (The
Kiss of death) (15, 21)
3. Stan Musial (After
all, he is just The Man)
4. Betty White (Thought
she was already dead)
5. Yogi Berra (It
ain't over til it's over, but picking winners here is 90% mental and the other
half pure luck!)
6. Jimmy Carter (Before
The Devil Knows Your'e Dead)
7. Roslyn Carter (One
outta two ain't bad)
8. Muhammed Ali (O
Death, where is thy Sting?)
9. Doris
Day (Day
becomes eternal night) (15, 21)
10. Oprah Winfrey (If
there's a God....)
River Phoenix Memorial pick:
Britney Spears (See
Oprah...and I promise to go to church every Sunday!)
Entrant 16
THE LOO RAWLS
1. Dr. Mahathir Mohamad (
2. Fidel
Castro (5, 12, 16, 21)
3. Bhumibol Adulyadej (
4. Jerry Lewis
5. Osama Bin Laden
6. Ariel
7. Betty Ford
8. Phyllis Diller
9. Dick
Clark (5, 16, 18)
10. John Jay O'Connor
Under 30: Mary Kate Olson
Entrant 17
MORGUE MISTRESS
10.5 POINTS
1. Regis Philbin
2. Joe Paterno
3. Roger Ebert
4. Dick
Van Dyke (9, 17)
5. Charleton Heston (10.5 Points) (17, 19)
6. Angela Lansbury
7. Don Zimmer
8. Shimon Peres
9. Eddie Van Halen
10. Eli Weisel
Under 30
Amy
Winehouse (5, 10, 11, 17, 18)
Entrant 18
THOR THUMB
1. Jack
Kevorkian (3, 18)
2. Mitzi Gaynor
3. Claude Levi Strauss (10, 18)
4. Dick
Clark (5, 16, 18)
5. Farrah
Fawcett (12, 16)
6. Joe Esterhasz
7. Maureen O’Hara
8. Les Paul
9. Rose Marie
10. Efrem Zymbalist Jr.
UNDER THIRTY
Amy
Winehouse (5, 10, 11, 17, 18)
Entrant 19
DER TODESMACHER
42 POINTS
1. Charlton Heston (10.5 Points) (17, 19)
2. Mindy Cohn
3.
4. Phyllis A. Whitney (Dead
But Too Old)
5. Jayne Meadows.
6. Ricardo Montalban
7. Albert Hoffmann (10.5 points) (10 19)
8. Mary
Tyler Moore (9, 19)
9. Ray Bradbury
10. Richard Widmark (21 Points)
UNDER THIRTY
Haley Joel Osment
Entrant 20
CARDINAL FANG
42 POINTS
1. Arthur C. Clarke (21 points)
2. Ernest Borgnine
3. Essie Mae Washington-Williams (Daughter
of Strom Thurmond—world’s oldest Love Child)
4.
Louise Rainer
5. Harold Bloom
6. Nancy Reagan
7. Fred Pohl
8. B.K.S. Iyengar
9. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (21 points)
10. Jack Chick
UNDER THIRTY
Avril Lavigne
Entrant 21
Hates Gumbi
10.5 points
1. Gabriel Garcia Marquez
2. Peggy Fleming
3. Fidel
Castro (5, 12, 16, 21)
4. Henry
Kissinger (15, 21)
5. Elizabeth Taylor
6. Bob
Barker (4, 21)
7. Eddie Arnold (10.5 points)
(13, 21)
8. Mickey
Rooney (5, 21)
9. Doris
Day (15, 21)
10. Kirk
under
30: Justin Timberlake
MRS. ESTES KEFAUVER (entrant 3)
SECOND PLACE: 52.5
points
JUGGERNAUTO (entrant 13)
JUDGE CRATER (entrant 2)
and
THE ROASTER (entrant 5)
and
CARDINAL FANG (entrant 20)
and
DIE TODESMACHER (entrant 19)